All You Moochers are Bound to Lose

I talked about this song in a newsletter.


We the grifters in order to profit more handsomely

And secure the spoils for our posterity

Defend the common interests of the rich against the poor

And insure our right to the ever more perfect score

To loot like pirates amid domestic tranquility

Do ordain and establish this plutocracy

See we are entitled to have our cake and eat yours too

We are entitled to different rules for us than you

We are entitled to corporate jets and country club dues

We are entitled to heads we win, tails you lose

‘Cause we’re the job creators—from the Hedgie to the CEO

We’re the job creators—with every LBO

We’re the job creator—from sea to shining sea

We’re the job creators—with each public subsidy

We’re job creators—

So we are entitled to restructure when required

And we are entitled to arbitrarily have you fired

We are entitled to credit for all wins

And we are entitled to forgiveness for any sins—

Being a job creator means no apologies

‘Cause we’re creators: humanity’s MVPs

And we are entitled, if you’ll allow me to explain—

We are entitled to gorge like sows and still complain—

‘Cause we’re job creators when we’re shutting factories down

And we’re job creators when we repossess your town

We’re job creators while we’re banking overseas

We’re born job creators, we create value when we sneeze

You’re bound to lose, you’re bound to lose—

All you moochers are bound to lose

‘Cause we’re job creators—we’re entitled to our riches

We’re job creators—and we’re entitled, bitches

We’re job creators, yeah yeah yeah

We’re job creators, wah wah wah

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